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The Child I Want vs the Child I Have

~ theantelopediaries

 

Over the past several months my relationship with Polina has really been tested.  I love her more than anything, and that is the truth.  But there have also been times where she has challenged me to my core.  The main culprit is usually sleep.  At 4.5 years, Polina reliably naps 2 hours daily in addition to 10 hours nightly.  Anything less than her daily regimen of 12 hours of sleep per day and it comes out in her behavior.  I love that she naps and gives me time to myself.  I am at heart an introvert and need time by myself to replenish my reserves.  But sometimes this rigid nap schedule can get in the way of my agenda, and when I choose the latter I have no one to blame but myself.

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My Grandmother’s Passing

~ theantelopediaries

And just like that, she was gone.  I opened my email this late afternoon to find a message from my stepfather sent mid-morning.  My grandmother, his mother, had passed away suddenly and peacefully.  Actually, the email read, “relatively quickly and without pain.”  When you read an email like that, the words kind of blur.

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How Did it Happen?

~ theantelopediaries

How did it happen that both of our cars were broken into this morning, that my husband continued to change the oil while the police dispatcher referred me to an online crime reporting tool.  Everything seemed normal.  Nothing was stolen, only rummaged through, because there wasn’t anything to steal.  My husband and I disagreed on whether we should have locked the cars or not.  I’m sure they would have broken the windows to find… nothing.  Rule of thumb I learned from the streets- if there’s nothing to steal, better to leave the doors open. More →

Why You Won’t Be Getting a Cheesy Family Holiday Postcard From Me

~ theantelopediaries

Cheesy family photo: family of four dressed in red behind fake white background.

Even though Christmas has passed, we still got a few more holiday postcards trickling in. You know- the ones with the pictures of smiling families along with PR messages like, “Peace Love Cheer Joy?”

First of all, no one goes through life smiling like that.  You would be considered really weird walking down the street with a big grin on your face.  And yet, in America, it is perfectly acceptable to contort one’s face by pulling your cheeks as far apart as possible and then sending a picture of that to people.

And then you teach your children to do it.

I get the sense that in America, the wider your grin, the happier you’re perceived to be. More →