It has been five weeks since my 16 month old dog Melfi was suddenly hit by a truck.
He hasn’t come back to me, even though I’ve wanted him to, if only in spirit.
I heard that sometimes animals and other loved ones come back after their passing. I’ve shooed away other spirits when I’ve felt scared, but I wanted Melfi.
MoreHe’s supposed to be here.
That’s what I keep thinking.
He’s supposed to be under the covers right now. He likes to go under the covers, over the covers, under the covers, over the covers. He woke me up many nights, but I would do anything to have that back. I would do anything to hear his grunts again, to feel his head perched on my neck, to see him curled in a ball and his big eyes looking up at me.
He was our dog, Melfi. Our 16 month old German Shorthair Pointer that was run over by a truck last Thursday. He died instantly. It wasn’t supposed to happen. I can’t help feeling like he’s supposed to be here.
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In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to thank the readers that have followed me and, even better, read my posts. I started this site not necessarily to make “friends” or “followers.” I think both are great, but they are not the primary reason why I began writing. I began writing because I was bursting with a desire to write. For about a year, I didn’t even tell anyone about my website. I did have a desire to connect, but I was too shy to do any broadcasting. Somehow a few people found me, none of whom I knew previously, and began following me. That gave me a huge boost in confidence. So to you readers, I say, thank you..
The post I am writing has been on my mind for the better part of a year. It comes from the heart because above all, I believe in being genuine.
Our favorite Indian restaurant, Tandoor, closed on June 30, 2015. Tandoor’s departure has left a hole in our hearts. When we go to our “new” place a mere block away, we pass by Tandoor and reminisce. More
Our Sunday began as any ordinary day. My daughter woke me up at 7:45 am. I gave her a bath and we went through our normal routine to get ready for the day. I made breakfast, washed the dishes, and did three loads of laundry. At 11 am, my friend from Russia skyped me. The previous day was May 9, “Den Pobedy” or Victory Day, which is a huge holiday over there. I congratulated him on the defeat of Hitler.
“We couldn’t have won the war without you,” I said.
Because there is no Mother’s Day holiday in Russia, I didn’t receive any recognition. At that moment, I had a thought: “what is more important, the defeat of Hitler or Mother’s Day?” I sided with Hitler’s defeat, and it made me feel slightly better.
While I was doing my chores, Peter worked on his car. We had planned to take a trip to Big Four Mountain. He changed the oil, cleaned the air filter, replaced the brake and power steering fluids and added transmission fluid. Frankly, he did stuff I don’t know how to do, so I’m grateful that one of us knows how to do these things. He thanked me for the breakfast, and when he saw me skyping with my friend, asked if we could skype with his mother.
“Aha,” I thought. “He is going to mention Mother’s Day.”
Once we connected, he took my laptop to the backyard to show her our blooming rhododendrons.
I decided to take a shower. How could he remember his own mother and not wish me a Happy Mother’s Day?
The ride to Big Four Mountain was uneventful. There was no mention of Mother’s Day. We passed some landmarks that reminded me of a time several years ago when Pete and I rode in on his motorcycle. We got off at a spot and Pete insisted I ride his motorcycle by myself on a portion of the road leading to the park. I didn’t even have a license to ride a motorcycle, nor was I comfortable with the weight of his bike. He was so insistent, I caved in, and I hated him for it the whole time. I was never so happy to reach the halfway point and turn around. I was happy I pulled back into the parking lot alive.
We were getting closer to the park entrance and there was still no mention of Mother’s Day.
Pete had been talking about visiting Big Four Mountain for several weeks now. Our weekends have been busy, but I decided to accommodate his wishes.
He never even asked me what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day.
By the time we got to the park, the thoughts in my head put me into a bad mood. The plan was to have a picnic together before walking to the ice caves. When he opened my side of the door, I told him I wanted to rest in the car.
He responded, “I need your help carrying the supplies.”
He only needs me to carry the supplies.
Pete took Polina to have a picnic.
Great, they’re having a picnic without me on Mother’s Day. Just my luck.
When Pete came back and asked again what was wrong, this time, I told him directly. To my surprise, he apologized, said he has been self-absorbed recently, and wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. He said he had intended to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day at the picnic.
And just like that, the weight was lifted. The day was salvaged and we had one of the best days of our lives this year. Since we got a later start, there were fewer people at the ice caves, and we had the entire picnic area to ourselves on the way back. (He told me he just hung out with Polina and that they hadn’t eaten without me.) We watched a robin look for worms, some small black birds (sparrows? starlings?) zig zag in the air looking for insects, and on the way out of the park, several deer jump across the road. It was a lovely evening.
We still have some challenges ahead of us and are by no means out of the woods, but I am so grateful we were able to have a nice day and spend quality time together as a family.
Here are some pictures from our trip.
